Here, you’ll find quick moments of meaningful reflection. My entries encompass fleeting thoughts as I have them; they aren’t “sorted out” or organized—they’re thoughts that I don’t want to pass by too quickly. I’ll post the most-recent entries at the top so you won’t have to scroll as much when you check in. Enjoy!
February 25th, 2025
If my trust is truly in You, I don’t have to rely on myself so much; You’ve got me.
You direct us to protect our hearts and minds [Prov. 4:23]. Boundaries are good. Yet, I don’t need to live in fear of faltering and stepping outside of them . . . You’ve already paid the price for me. I’m Yours . . . eternally Yours.
You never turn away. You never avoid my gaze. You turn my chin up to Your gaze, to see the love You have for me in Your eyes.
February 24th, 2023
I’m strong enough to hand the consequences of my messy self’s choices without shame, and with love instead.
February 3rd, 2023 ~ Feelings are always in motion
Leaning in instead of pushing through today and choosing to Believe that the way I feel may shift — because feelings are always in motion and sometimes, by leaning into them, we help them along.
One hour later:
It worked. Reading always inspires me.
July 12th, 2020 ~ A Quiet Run & Cool Weather
Last night before bed I checked the weather for the next day, like I always do, to see when I should get up to run before the heat was too much for Tate. When I saw an opportunity to run in less than 70-degree weather, I became pumped!
This morning I got up and out of bed, ready to go. I excitedly read the instructions for the brand new, wireless, Bluetooth headphones that arrived yesterday, put one in each ear, and successfully connected them to my phone. I was set! Yet, on our way out the door, before even turning any music on (or a podcast), I quickly took them out of my ears and placed them back in their case. I’d realized—just in time— “Nope, today my body and mind need quiet time.” So off we went with the sound of Tate and my steps, the cars, and the birds as our only auditory input.
I set out to do three miles. This past week I’ve kept us at only two each day because of how hot it was—even early in the morning—and the poor air quality warnings. Three miles would be good, it’d be more than we’d done all week.
But when we go to three miles, I realized I was feeling great and to do one more loop (0.5 mi) would mean we’d “tie” our 2020 running record of completing a 3.5 mile run. So, we did another loop.
While running that loop I thought, “If we do just one more, we’ll make it to four miles . . . which would be the most distance I’ve run since 2012.” So, we did another loop.
During that loop I thought, “Heck, what’s one more mile? If we do one more mile, we’ll meet my goal of completing a five-mile run before ODS (Officer Development School). So, we ran two more loops.
This morning I met a goal! I know that five miles is “nothing” to many, but for me . . . this is BIG! I haven’t gone on a five-mile run since 2012!!! And now that I’ve run five miles, running three miles—maybe even four!—will easily become our “short run” mark instead of our “long run” goal!
I love goal setting and I especially love reaching them! I wonder what my next one will be . . .
July 11th, 2020 ~ Nabulu: We don’t share food
Today I read an update on Nabulu, an orphaned elephant in Africa whom my friend sponsored in my name. It read: Nabulu [and friends] began to grab at the freshest of greens at the top of the branches. The smaller orphans would then grab what they dropped down, however Nabulu was not so eager to share and kept trying to keep her branches to herself.” #KINDREDSPIRITS
Chuckling with Jordan about her update made me think back to the day I received the email that explained my friend’s sponsorship. She wrote the following:
“Ashlee, I decided to do something different than bringing back trinket souvenirs for people. And since I love you dearly I though the idea of adopting a baby orphaned elephant for you through a donation would be perfect . . . We are going to visit the nursery on Friday and I may even get to meet your girl Nabulu. Nabulu was rescued from the Masai Maran where we did 4 days of safari. I chose her JUST for you 🙂 Nabulu means “growing” in the Maa language. I have watched you grow over the past few years and it has been a blessing to have you as a friend. Of course we are all always growing, but I feel like you are in a major growth spurt . . . LOL. You and Nabulu actually have a lot in common. Strong, growing fighters . . . Love you.”
What a beautiful friend, right?
June 18th, 2020 ~ Closed Doors
These are doors.
Closed doors.
Why am I sharing pictures of closed doors?
Because Tate has taken us back to the drawing board.
Tate has shown us that he can open our screen doors, but he’s only ever done so in order to be with us—for example, if he’s outside (on his chain) and we run in to get a drink, or if we’re out on the porch and leave him inside because we think it’s too hot for him. He’s let himself in . . . and out.
Last night though, he did something for the first time.
I was upstairs; Jordan was outside. I heard a big noise that sounded like a slam. I raced downstairs, calling Tate’s name. He had busted through a door—we’re still not sure which one—ran outside, and attacked our friend’s dog.
All within a matter of seconds.
I don’t get it.
We don’t get it.
We’ve literally spent the last week reflecting together on the ways Tate’s made such progress.
The fact that he did this made us both so angry.
It actually hurts my heart.
To care so much for someone—even if that someone is furry—and to watch them make choices like the one Tate made last night, without being able to understand and longing to understand it, and realizing that their experience has to now become even more limited . . .
UGH. IT SUCKS.
So anyway, we’re back to the drawing board.
For now that means CLOSED doors—closed screen doors apparently aren’t enough.
And I’ll do what it takes. I’ll think and I’ll problem-solve. I’ll read and I’ll listen. I’ll seek to udnerstand. I’ll do what it takes because this can’t happen again. It won’t happen again. I have to keep him safe; I will keep him safe. No one will ever take him away from me.
EVER.
Here’s the thing. I can’t stop loving him. No matter how angry he sometimes makes me . . . I can’t stop. My heart won’t let me. And apparently Jordan’s won’t let him either—he was so angry last night, and then later in the evening he melted. He couldn’t maintain his anger; his love was too great. Anyway, I’m still so proud to be Tate’s dog mom—as corny and weird and “whatever” as that sounds. We’ve done some hard work together. And just like Hank, Tate continues to teach me a whole lot about unconditional love—what it means to be its bestower as well as its receiver.
June 15th, 2020 ~ Doing My Creative Best
Christy Wright shared The Message translation of Galatians 6:4-5:
“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”
In the first espisode of The Christy Wright Show, she encourages us to think about what it means to do our “creative best.”
For me, doing my “creative best” means to artistically produce a life of meaning and purpose—to not waster the one life I’ve been given by trying to be anything other than more-fully me. It means to continuously make small steps in the right direction, to reflect, and instead of staring at or ruminating on my mistakes, learning from them and even turning them into something good—just as an artist would.
June 13th, 2020 ~ Live Your Best Quarantine Life
One (major) bonus of the effects of COVID-19 is our wayyyyyyy slowed-down pace of life.
I love the number of hours I’ve spent sitting on my porch with my boys—just my boys—without any plans crowding out our quality time together.
June 10th, 2020 ~ A Just-About-Perfect Kind-of-Day
It starts with an early rise and a long, slow stroll through the neighborhood with your dog
Is followed by an opportunity to paint and quiet time to ponder
Involves both hot sunshine and topless Jeep riding as well as rolling thunder and sideways-falling rain
Includes imperfect, real conversations with your nonjudgemental nail-tech and while sipping nitro-brewed coffee on an outdoor bench during a quick day-date with your sister-in-law
Proceeds to a nice, quiet evening with your tired husband who is safe, home, and eating dinner by your sider
Continues with four hours of completing a paint project with the most beautiful color palette
And ends with staying up late to finish another amazing memoir of the talented Kelly Corrigan, who so-beautifully puts words to #allthefeels of this experience we call “life”