A few days ago I shared a story through a stream of “reels” around not ever stopping the things that you love — the things that make you, YOU. I definitely should have created a single “video” instead, but… I gave something new a try and learned from it! All of the reels are posted in reverse order on my Instagram and I can’t believe how many of you watched them — ALL of them! However, because they are posted backward and because I couldn’t figure out how to share them to Facebook, I decided to go ahead and post the “script” here. Enjoy!
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Hi! This is weird. I feel weird. I’ve seen others do it all the time and every time I see it, I think it’s really weird… but here I am… still doing it anyway.
And I know I’m probably doing it wrong, or that there’s definitely a much better way to do it, but I’m doing it anyway because I have a short story to share and I think it’s better spoken than written… and better understood if heard rather than read.
So here’s my story:
From the end of 2019 through the middle of 2020, my best friend and I worked together on a project. A project that was supposed be just the beginning of a much bigger “thing” that we were both super excited about. We worked tirelessly — literally using every spare minute between the end of each of our day jobs and late into the nights. We worked tirelessly but we weren’t tired. It was probably, actually, one of my favorite times of my life. It was energizing and so much fun to work day in and day out with one of my very best friends — my very best friend of 25 years!
Our husbands were each super supportive as well. They definitely saw the spark that this whole thing had ignited within each of us and they genuinely believed in us as a team.
It was work and we worked hard but it wasn’t really work… we basically did, as adults, the things we loved to do together as kids. We read all the things we needed to read. We analyzed. We created a timeline and made videos. We created a newsletter. We brainstormed. We wrote — and wrote, and wrote. And eventually, on June 1st of 2020, we launched a website.
But then, literally on launch day… it all went up in flames. To be frank, it went to s$%*. Words were said, floors were stomped, tears were shed, and hearts were devastated.
Nevertheless, I did continue with the timeline on my own. I tried to continue the timeline on my own, but it only lasted for a short time.
It just didn’t feel right. It wasn’t the way it was “supposed” to be. Plus, it wasn’t nearly as fun by myself.
I must add here, my best friend and I are still very best friends. I dare to say that this one fiasco, after a childhood of spending most of our summer days side-by-side, may have actually caused us to become closer than we’ve ever been — which I can’t believe is even possible, and our moms wouldn’t believe it to be possible, but it’s really true. You can ask her.
Anyway, Jordan ended up having ankle surgery and then another crazy school year started, plus I needed to focus on preparing for officers’ bootcamp. So, I pressed pause.
But that pause became indefinite.
I realized last night, while tossing and turning and thinking about it, that the main thing that’s been holding me back from doing anything with any of it is everything that she and I had learned together.
We learned a lot of “rules,” so-to-speak, in starting a business: the importance of having rotating themes of content that are appealing both in a profile feed and when looked at in isolation, the importance of posting to every social media site — Twitter and Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook — each at their most highly engaging times. We learned the importance of having a very narrowly defined audience, focusing on school based OT or my faith journey, for example, verses tying them together.
We learned so much. And we did it all. We did every bit of it to a tee. We worked together and fed off each other like a well-oiled machine. We made THE BEST team.
But, what I realized last night is that I’ve hesitated in doing anything at all, since then, because I knew I wasn’t going to do it “right.”
A whole year has gone by.
Usually I have an ongoing stream of goals and intentions for each year, but my only goal of 2021 was to survive Rhode Island: five weeks without my boys, getting yelled at (which is a big deal for me), waking up daily at 4am to run in the dark, and becoming a mentally and physically stronger self than I’ve ever been.
And that, I did. I survived. I survived and after graduating and returning home in February, I’ve had a great year. But I’ve neglected huge parts of who I am, whole parts, all because of all I’d learned.
For months I’ve been talking to Jordan about what the missing link was. I couldn’t figure it out. I talked in circles. I was happy, definitely happy, but have felt incomplete — and the craziness of our world has really been laying heavy on me, heavier than I’d expect it to be with my personality [and faith!].
Then yesterday, without my consent, Jordan randomly brought the desktop up here, to my craft room. I wasn’t thrilled about it. It takes up room and has been so slow for so long.
…but then last night, I randomly decided to create. To letter. To Bible journal. To blare KLove radio. And to write! I spent hours up here, doing things I love to do, things that make me ME. Jordan actually calls them “Ashlee things.” I found myself lost in them and giddy.
I share this with you because, I think the moral, or morals, of this story… are really important.
Dream big, and know that it’s okay if your dreams don’t pan out as expected. Enjoy the journey of dreaming. Chances are, you’ll gain new skills and create something really cool even if it doesn’t amount to what you had in mind. It’s like that super corny high school girl quote: “Shoot for the moon! Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” I actually don’t think I’ve ever really understood the meaning of those corny words until now. They’re true!
Also, definitely learn all that you can learn, but don’t ever stop doing the things that you love, the things that make you YOU, simply because you don’t have time to do them “the right way.” Just do them!
Let yourself be unashamedly passionate about the things that bring you joy — and share that joy with the world. The Lord will bless it. He WILL bless it because He made you to be YOU! Fully YOU. Just as YOU are. Because the world NEEDS one of YOU.
So yeah, that’s what I’ve got. Thanks for being here and listening and letting me be super weird.
Happy new year! Please, go out there and make 2022 your best year yet! Throw the “rules” out the window! Make it the best year yet, by being true to who YOU are. Doing the things YOU love is the only way to create a life that you love. It’s also the only way to survive a life of a never-ending pandemic.
Suggested song: Just Be You
All ten reels, in the correct order:
Reel 1 * Reel 2 * Reel 3 * Reel 4 * Reel 5 * Reel 6 * Reel 7 * Reel 8 * Reel 9 * Reel 10
[…] week I shared what was supposed to be a short story, about doing the things that you love. There’s another important piece of that story that I don’t want to leave out, but I struggle […]